Ghislaine Maxwell’s New Life in Federal Prison is Arguably Better Than Your Average White Person’s

Ghislaine Maxwell, the jewish socialite sentenced to twenty years behind bars for luring young girls into the semitic clutches of arch-pedophile Jeffery Epstein, is being moved to a low-security prison in Tallahassee, Florida, and it’s already looking like she will have a better life than your average White person’s.

Maxwell, the sixty-year-old sex trafficker with deep familial connections to the Israeli intelligence agency, Mossad, will now have to spend the rest of her sentence at FCI Tallahassee, a federal prison known for its lavish inmate programs which include pottery, yoga, leathercraft, and pilates. Although memberships to new-age fitness studios and access to leatherworking courses can run a civilian into the hundreds of dollars out of pocket, Maxwell can breathe easy knowing that all of these bourgeois amenities will be available to her absolutely free of charge.

Ghislaine Maxwell and her longtime boyfriend and criminal counterpart, Jeffery Epstein.

While accommodations at Tallahassee are a major upgrade from life at the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn, New York, Maxwell, unlike your average White woman, will sleep safe knowing she’ll never get to experience the cold steel of a pistol being pressed into the back of her neck while she is forced to work a second gig as a taxi driver just to make ends meet.

Life at Tallahassee will see Maxwell sharing dormitory space with other low-security inmates serving time for low-security crimes, and will be able to freely roam the facility ground and gardens at certain intervals throughout the day unimpeded. When compared to the lengths in which most urbanite workers take to avoid having to leave their exorbitant studio apartments in fear of being victimized in petty street crimes—like working from home under the auspices of “long covid” or paying vast sums of money for Uber rides just to avoid public transportation—Maxwell won’t have to ponder the risks of everyday travel from point A to point B. 

In the city of Tallahassee, Florida, citizens can expect to pay anywhere from $1000-1500 a month for a 1 bedroom apartment, but Ghislaine will be able to capitalize on rent-free housing here in the beautiful Sunshine State, all while narrowly avoiding the surging 52% non-White population in the neighboring city which is consistently wrought with crime.

The front door of FCI Tallahassee resembles a palatial estate more than it does a federal prison.

The facility itself, which has nothing but a perimeter fence to keep inmates within, offers a sweeping vista of the immaculately maintained grounds of neighboring Tom Brown Park, a stark contrast to the sights of drug-fueled urban decay and other multicultural dangers that creep about the meager neighborhoods of most white-collar workers surviving on the outside. 

At first, Maxwell might be assigned to a menial task like sweeping, mopping, or cleaning toilets, in which case she could find herself earning a paltry 15 cents an hour. After a while though, she’ll be qualified to work a full-time job as a payroll clerk, teacher, or manager which could vastly increase her prisoner’s income. Lucky her! Unlike many White people not convicted to federal prison for five counts of sexual exploitation, all of these jobs will come to her unconditionally, and no pesky affirmative action quotas or HR departments will be able to blackball her out of a position.

An overhead view of FCI Tallahassee reveals a sprawling courtyard and recreation area.

While facing a twenty-year prison sentence might seem daunting at first, Maxwell can breathe easy knowing that at FCI Tallahassee, per the inmate orientation handbook, she can “expect that, as a human being, you yourself will be treated respectfully, impartially and fairly.” Privileges that White people across the country are regularly denied, as they are fired, depersoned, displaced, imprisoned, racially assaulted, and humiliated by a ruthless anti-White system that Maxwell will never be the target of herself.

And, unlike in the food deserts of major cities like New York, where the only grocery stores people can rely on are seedy Bodegas that are likely to get you robbed, killed, or assaulted by roving addicts and petty street thugs, Ghislaine can enjoy a wide array of curated snacks, treats, and other delicacies offered at FCI Tallahasse’s extensive commissary list. While “Bodega Bro” can barely scrape together a bag of ramen noodle soups and bacon egg and cheese’s at his local corner store, Ghislaine can purchase vanilla-flavored health shakes, smoked gouda spreads, tuna with Asian sauces, and bags of savory walnuts with ease and simplicity.

A snippet of the items available to inmates at FCI Tallahasse’s commissary. Kosher meals are available via special order!

She can even peruse a long list of personal make-up items to stay pretty-in-khaki, all while never having to deal with the unfortunate happenstance of walking into her local CVS, just to find the feminine beauty isle cleaned out by black shoplifters.

It might take a long time to rehabilitate a woman like Ghislane Maxwell, who in her civilian life experienced nothing but abject luxury since early childhood. But, she shouldn’t fret! Even if a place like FCI Tallahassee cannot fully correct her objectionable behavior, she should be able to take solace in the fact that her life’s work of subjecting American youth to indignified sexual encounters is still being carried out today, albeit this time in the form of overtly demonic children’s drag shows, obscene classroom curriculums mandated for the purpose of homosexual acceptance, and an increasingly degenerate media which beams out of LCD screens across the planet.

Jeffery may be dead, and you might be in a goyish prison, Ghislaine, but don’t worry your pretty little head. People out here are having it way, way worse.




Jack McKraken
Jack McKraken is a former New York State Correctional Officer turned political dissident and author. For more stories and universal truths about America’s correctional system, check out his book “Livin’ the Dream” by Antelope Hill Publishing.

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