Picture this: you’re standing inside a concrete room the size of a movie theater. It’s around ninety-five degrees, and a solid fog of humid air which lingers all around you is hardly budged by the pathetic, squeaky rotations of a single industrial fan humming in the far corner. Your stomach grumbles, and as you shuffle in line along with one hundred and twenty other uniformed men, each as foreign and alien as the last, you have only the prospect of soy-laden chicken tetrazzini to cure your pangs of hunger.
You place a half-washed plastic tray (crusted over with spots of the previous meal still present) in front of a boot-lipped food server, and he smiles as he pours a ladle full of mystery slop onto it. You grab milk, pocket a waxy apple, and find a seat. Sitting down next to you are three intimidating men, each reaching into their socks and underwear for hidden condiments smuggled from their cells in order to pepper their meals with things like ramen packets and shakers of acrid adobo powder. Anything at all to make the meal edible.
Then, they look to you. “Damn, White boy,” they exclaim. “What your cracker-ass do to get locked up in a place like this?
“Me?” You reply. “I questioned a jewish narrative.”
The scenario I just crafted may appear silly to the average person, but for the political dissident, it’s stories like these that have become an ever-increasing reality. Don’t trust me? Just take a look at men like James Fields and Christopher Cantwell. Both are rotting behind bars due to the overt actions of jewish power in America, and overseas, figures like Mr. Bond can achieve ten years of incarceration for the crime of making parody rap songs in their basement. And who could forget Ursula Haverbeck, a 93-year-old woman who, in the twilight of her life, should be resting in a cozy home surrounded by friends and extended family, but instead, finds herself locked away in a prison house simply for choosing to engage with reality?
These meager, yet ludicrous, examples are just the tip of the iceberg, however, and as the system continues to suffer defeat after global defeat, embarrassment after international embarrassment, expect their tactics to become more heavy-handed and oppressive. From “wignats” to “amnats,” anyone right of Trudeau now faces the prospect of jail time over their beliefs, and it’s better to come to terms with this grim fact sooner rather than later.
To make this bitter pill easier to swallow, I, Jack McKraken, have decided to step in and arm you with some very basic, albeit useful, information that will make your time spent in the gulag as painless as possible. I personally cultivated this knowledge from an illustrious five-year stint of my own, not as an inmate mind you, but as a guard in service of the regime. While my career was cut short for my own political beliefs back in 2019, I was able to learn a lot about the carceral system, mostly that there are a lot of things that can go horribly wrong. After reading this article, however, you should be able to mitigate disasters and keep your wits about you until the parole board hearing. So let’s get started.
Lesson 1: Just Say No
One of the biggest mistakes a new inmate can make when they reach general population is accepting kindness from strangers. By the time you reach this stage in your incarceration, chances are you might feel devastated, lonely, and feel like the world has utterly betrayed you. While those feelings are one hundred percent valid, under no circumstances should you accept anything from another inmate. Theres going to be a lot of twisted people walking around who will claim to have your back. They’re going to offer you things like a pair of shower shoes, some zippy cakes, or even a cup of coffee to help you settle in under the premise of solidarity. Just say no.
While it might be tempting to accept help and start making friends early on, especially if your sentence is a long one and the inmates approaching you come off as sincere, I can promise you, they aren’t. In reality, what is unfolding is a strategy used by seasoned inmates to gain control of you and establish confidence in your mind. By offering a false olive branch and claiming to be your friend, these dastardly criminals are merely trying to take advantage of you during the weakest moments of your incarceration.
The more you trust and rely on another inmate for your creature comforts and daily survival, the more you’ll be willing to do for that individual in return. Your everyday life in prison will quickly become a never-ending transaction. Other inmates will quickly pick up on this through rumors and see for themselves how easily you caved to the slightest manipulations, and the next thing you know, you’re passing items with fishing line, doing laundry for the entire block, and even holding onto contraband for other people, just because you felt obligated to repay a non-existent kindness.
Feel free to talk to other inmates if you’d like, there’s nothing wrong with a healthy amount of cordial banter. But by establishing early on a clear and firm boundary and by demonstrating to others that their help isn’t needed, you signal to the rest of the inmate population that you have a head on your shoulders, and you aren’t one to be easily manipulated or intimidated.
Lesson 2: Eat Clean
You wouldn’t think that thugs, criminals, gang-bangers, and murderers would get caught up in the kinds of conspiratorial arguments that we right-wingers tend to have over the bodily perils of eating “soy-based” food products, but many of them do and for good reason! That’s because prison food is some of the most disgusting, nutritionless slop a human could possibly endure. In many cases, a correctional facility will import their food from an outside facility and bulk produce entire vats of the stuff just to save money. The contents are then bagged in large plastic sacks, shipped to each prison, and then cooked by boiling the bag on facility grounds before chow time.
The end result is a steamy processed meal chock full of floating chunks of soy, watery liquids imitating gravy or sauce, and if you’re lucky, a single piece of fruit. The nutrition in many of these meals is negligible at best, and despite hiring full-time civilian foodservice administrators tasked with maximizing the health benefits of every meal served, nutrition will always take a back seat to the bottom line.
To get around this, many inmates will sign up for special meal accommodations based on religious or medical exceptions. Most Correctional Facilities will offer an alternative meal that will arguably taste better and be better for you, and it comes as no surprise that the “kosher meal” is the best example of this phenomenon. Signing up to receive one of these meals will require a bit of finesse, however, and you may have to convince a counselor or prison nurse of the reasons why you deserve to be on the special meal list.
If you’re not comfortable rocking the boat, the best alternative to skirting the chow line is to abstain from chow altogether. Instead, keep your cell stocked as much as possible with healthy protein such as cans of tuna fish, chicken, sardines, and anchovies. Prison commissaries will often sell everything you need to maintain a healthy body if you have the coin to spend on it, and no matter how tempting the prison menu might look week-to-week, I can guarantee you that a PB&J you make in your own cell will always be preferable to the “chicken” served on chicken nugget day.
Lesson 3: Lose the Loose Lips
The old adage that “snitches get stitches” might sound tired, but in a correctional setting, the old wisdom here still rings true. You’re going to see a lot of really nasty things in prison. Drug-use. Assaults. Sexual acts. Fights that produce a lot of blood and pain. These incidents will be uncommon sights, but when the correctional officers ultimately come in and restore order and secure the place, they’re going to be asking a lot of questions to everyone who was in the vicinity. When this happens, your best bet is to keep your mouth shut and pretend like you didn’t see anything at all.
It’ll be hard at first. Your natural, gut reaction as a White person will be to dime out every scumbag who was guilty. Many of those scumbags you won’t even share a race with. While I am all for selling out our racial lessers and watching them feel the wrath of a zionist bureaucracy, you run the risk of being ostracized by the inmate community, and even physically harmed if the others find out that you talked to authority.
Snitches often find themselves the victim of retaliatory attacks, or even denied certain liberties that other inmates might control (such as the showers, or the use of the housing unit telephones). If it’s discovered that you talked to security staff about another inmate’s business, this reputation can even follow you from prison to prison, and the last thing you’re going to want is the scarlet letter of a rat. Instead, simply stay quiet if you find yourself being questioned about another inmate by a correctional officer, as the reputation you build by being trustworthy is worth more in your pocket than the short-lived dopamine hit you might receive by watching some low life catch a ticket.
Lesson 4: Health, Mental or Otherwise
It may not surprise you to learn that the best way to deal with the stress of being incarcerated is to stay physically fit, and with the amount of free time you’re going to have, there won’t be an excuse to stay a slob behind bars. In my experience, the calmest, easiest inmates to deal with were the ones who habitually went to the yard, worked out in the facility gymnasium, or pumped iron in the weight room. The worst and most unpredictable ones were the strung-out drug addicts and catty homosexuals. That’s because the natural endorphins produced in the brain of a physically active, masculine man will always serve to relax you no matter how boxed in you might be feeling day-to-day.
Depending on the department or correctional organization that has custody over you, you may not have access to some of these amenities. That’s okay! You only need a space as long as your body in order to do pushups, situps, and dips, and all three should be achievable in your average cell. If you’re going to be a political prisoner, you might as well use the time wisely and get ripped, fam.
Once you master the physical aspects of your body, make sure to tend to your mental and emotional needs as well. You can do this by keeping as many lines of contact open to the outside world as you possibly can. Letters to friends, family, brothers in the struggle, and even pen-pal groups will help alleviate some of the loneliness you will undoubtedly feel while locked up, and many of the people on the outside who are still thinking about you will appreciate the line too.
Just be mindful of what you write about and the kinds of things you say. Correctional Officers have the authority to read all of your communications going into and out of the facility, so writing a twenty-page wall-text or schizo post about the limits of White patience (and the ultimate fate of lying, jewish mouths) might be interpreted poorly by the wrong zogbot in the mailroom. No one wants to see you serve more time or get punished for nothing, so keep it clean and assume you’re being monitored.
If you really have to talk business with someone, I recommend sending a letter out through classified “legal mail.” Client-Attorney privilege extends after you are incarcerated, and Correctional Officers are prohibited from reading the contents of your legal mail. If you have the right lawyer, you might be able to skirt around the surveillance state and speak your peace, but be mindful of the risks.
Lesson 5: Picking Your Battles
A prison is a place where people live for a very long time. Sure it’s packed with vile, wretched scum and filled with an ethnic soup of sub-Saharan creatures, but at the end of the day, you’re going to be living among them. You’ll be outnumbered, and even those that you share a race with won’t be interested in backing you up in every petty fight or argument just because of your skin, or how based you were on Telegram.
Instead, learn to pick your battles. The idea that you have to be the “craziest [email protected]#$r” in the room is a Hollywood invention just as fake as a Netflix period piece. It’s actually better to come off as a cool, calm, collected individual in the face of your fellow inmates than it is to come off as a psychopath. Instead of kicking and screaming and causing a ruckus in the hopes of keeping people away from you, this is bound to backfire, as inmates, especially the more entrepreneurial ones, will do anything in their power to prevent the housing unit from becoming too “loud.”
What that simply means is any unwanted attention to the comings and goings of the block by security staff. Face it, a lot of inmates are running crime operations out of their cells. They’re selling drugs, smuggling cell phones and weapons, making hooch, and breaking all kinds of rules on a daily, if not hourly basis. The last thing they need is an extra officer stationed on the block because you couldn’t help sperging out in a sad attempt to be intimidating. If you want to prevent a beat down in the back room where they keep the slop sink, you’d do best to keep as quiet as possible and do your own time.
Lesson 6: New Jacks and Old Hacks
As an inmate in a Correctional facility, you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that someone is going to have control over you, and that person will be the nearby correctional officer or C.O. You’re going to run into a lot of different types of C.O. There’s the salty old hack who should have retired years ago, there’s the midnight shift swapper who can’t keep his eyes open, there’s the new jack who’s wet behind the ears and susceptible to manipulation, and there’s the ball-busting ticket-tron who can spot more broken rules than the Spanish inquisition on a trip to Tel Aviv.
Knowing which C.O is which, and building a rapport with at least a few of them is easier than you might think. All you have to do is make their lives easy and hassle-free, and you’d be amazed at how willing they will be in helping you out with small mundane tasks that are essential to prison life. If you need to go to the infirmary, a C.O who understands what you’re all about is more willing to escort you there than if you were a consistent problem child. The same goes for toothpaste exchanges, getting put down for extra showers, cushy work details, and all sorts of small privileges.
The most important C.O that you should be working with is the regular man in your housing unit. Called the “bid officer” this is the guy who clocks in and works the same job every day, maintaining care, custody, and control of your block on a permanent basis. It would behoove you to not mess with the man that you tend to see the most often, and learning what he likes and doesn’t like while running his area, will only help you establish that rapport and earn social currency that could be cashed in later. If a Sergeant, Lieutenant, Captain, or another form of Correctional Brass walks a “round” on your unit, you can signal to staff that you aren’t a problem by making sure your sheet isn’t hanging up, and that your cell meets all of the guidelines set in your inmate handbook. If you embarrass your bid officer one too many times, then he might not look favorably on you when you need him the most.
The only exception to this rule is black or brown officers. While you might get lucky and find yourself in a situation where a White man is the sole picture of authority on the unit, woe to him who isn’t as fortunate, and instead has to deal with a black C.O on the regular. Since black, brown, and female C.O’s are much more likely to display corruption, brutality, or complete apathy toward the world around them, it’s going to be a lot more difficult for you, as a Dissident, to build that rapport. If this happens to you, I recommend waiting until that officer is off for the weekend or finding a different C.O before making any important requests to security.
Wakin’ The Nightmare
It’s unfortunate, but what we are now experiencing, as a race, is the slowly tightening coil of a frantic jewish serpent around the collective throats of those who would simply dare to tell the truth. As long as our basic freedom of speech continues to be muzzled under this relentless constriction, then the prospect of jail time will always be on the table for the throngs of normal people, just like us, who demand to exist in a sane civilization.
I believe that the smartest thing to do right now, no matter where you fall on the wide right-leaning political spectrum, is to come to terms with the possibility that you might be jailed for your political position and the content of your speech. If the day comes and you’re placed in a kangaroo court and lose your case, the only thing you can control is how you act during your new life behind bars, and how to continue that fight as a political prisoner of the occupying regime. That is not to say that I believe this fate is inevitable. In fact, I believe it is our destiny to claim victory over the satanic forces that control this world, and in doing so, glorify God as a collective White superpower.
Until then, however, you must understand the gravity of the situation that we all face in these chaotic, twilight years of empire, and arm ourselves with the knowledge necessary to survive the concrete dungeons that constitute our carceral system if, and when, it comes calling for us.
Jack McKraken is a former New York State Correctional Officer turned political dissident and author. For more stories and universal truths about America’s correctional system, check out his book “Livin’ the Dream” by Antelope Hill Publishing.